Normally reviews will be more regimented than this, and will be broken down at least into "strengths" and "suggestions." However this was one of our first reviews and as such there was no set format quite yet. Please forgive the mess.

Direct quotes from the application will be in this colour; my comments are in black.

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Alright; forgive me if this is rambling, it's half a collection of thoughts as I go and half a reflection. To spare you the pain of waiting (or scrolling) to the end to find out the results, I'll go ahead and say it isn't an accept, but I would be more than happy to have you reapply with the same character.

He has a lot of strengths. I'm fine with "Jack of all Trade" types, but knowing a little of everything on top of his other skillz is.. a lot of stuff to know. (The chess/strategy thing also seems rather out of place - whittling wood and simultaneously a master at chess?) His "weaknesses" don't seem very weak to me - having a temper may suck, but being hotheaded and stubborn.. That doesn't really make him weak (if this makes any sense). It's like "He knows about everything.. but boy does he have a temper!" The two don't balance. My biggest problem is this statement:

Strengths: He's very good at strategic, long-term planning. He knows the geography of Actavia like the back of his hand, having walked over most of it. He knows a little bit of everything, from leatherwork to smithing to glass-making to knitting, enough to get by and understand what is happening and what is being talked about as long as things are kept to the basics.

Even have walked all over one kingdom would be a significant feat, and since Actavia is so large and has so many unexplored regions, I find it hard to believe someone has walked it in its entirety. It would certainly take you much longer than Max's 28 years of existence. Likewise, his fears don't show any actual weakness - he's too perfect thus far. (And his aspiration is to make the world a better place? Add it all up, he's just not very realistic. XD;)

I don't mean to nitpick and I understand that he's a priest, but there are lots of ways to make priests dynamic and interesting (which don't necessarily mean turning them into hypocrites a la Wolfwood or Sanzo).

He's extremely reserved and dettached, but fiercely opinionated and has a wild temper. These things are hard to resolve into one character for me.

In general, the problem is just.. Given that every single person he knew in his life died in a plague (save one person, who later, in his mind, "betrayed" him), you would think he would have slightly more issues than just a bad temper and surly attitude. He just seems lacking in some extra dimension that would make him appealing - he's had an absolutely wretched life, but he's trudged through it and perservered and managed to keep his faith. Which is lovely, but really not all that interesting.

As far as other concerns went.. Where'd his mother get drugs, booze, and sex in such a picturesque villa? Er, really, in terms of overlap (which could not be helped, given that no other profiles are finished), Team Dragon has a healer/white mage, and Tenteki has a theme of chess/strategy (though he's on the opposite team). I didn't really find strategy and thinking several moves ahead to be in accordance with the mind of someone who's been raised in a faith where obedience and conformity are prized, not scheming and freethought. (I'm also going to be really, really infuriatingly annoying about dragons and request you beef up Amadis' section, and also point out that though this is a fantasy game, shark's teeth are built for slicing, not injecting poison - is his very saliva poisonous? The two mouth constructions seem contradictory. Poison is a defense or for slowly killing prey, rows of teeth is for just grabbing a bite. Etc, etc.)

Overall, what I'm chasing around is that he's lacking something really.. to make him stand up. (Tragic past alone can't count.) I know this seems unbearably negative and I apologise for that; it's just that when a character doesn't scream "PICK ME!" you start analyzing it to figure out what it is you don't like.

Really, your writing is good, and you seem to be very amiable. Max is not bad, and I like that he's a priest and he's got potential. I'm just insanely picky after years of trudging through apps and have learned to plan ahead for times when slots may be slim. I just want to make sure everyone's as good as they can be, you know? And I do feel there are ways you could make him more interesting and unique. I hope all that makes sense; please let me know if you don't understand something or need clarification, or you want to know what else I took issue with.

All that said, thank you so much for your interest, and I do hope I haven't offended you hideously and hear back. XD;